


Astral - of or relating to the stars

by evakuality



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Tumblr Prompt, but there's some fluff in there somewhere, no idea what it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24176617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakuality/pseuds/evakuality
Summary: Matteo’s in that soporific state, somewhere between waking and sleeping, and he’s feeling philosophical.  It’s not exactly normal for him, but there’s something about the time of the night (seeping inexorably into the earliest of mornings rather than the latest of nights), the slow soft haze of the weed that’s dissipating into the air around them, and the peace of being here with David that settles him and makes him want to talk.  To confess.Aka, the one where it's late and Matteo gets talkative...
Relationships: Matteo Florenzi/David (Druck)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	Astral - of or relating to the stars

They’re lying on their backs in the still of a quiet night. It’s just the two of them in the apartment and it’s far too late. David has pushed the bed right up against the open window so they can lie on it, heads at the window end, tilted backwards so they can see the dark expanse outside. The breeze wafting in over them and the endless darkness of the night makes it feel like the night is right inside the room with them. Or they’re outside with it.

Matteo’s in that soporific state, somewhere between waking and sleeping, and he’s feeling philosophical. It’s not exactly normal for him, but there’s something about the time of the night (seeping inexorably into the earliest of mornings rather than the latest of nights), the slow soft haze of the weed that’s dissipating into the air around them, and the peace of being here with David that settles him and makes him want to talk. To confess.

“Astral,” he breathes, not wanting to disturb the silence of the night around them, in the hush of the dark apartment, but needing to press this one thought as deep in under David’s skin as he can.

“Hmmmm?” 

David’s voice is a humming blur, tempered presumably by those same things that drag at Matteo and make him feel heavy and weightless all at once. He turns his head, tilting to look at Matteo, who can’t help the tiny smile David’s face always pulls onto his own.

“Of or relating to stars,” Matteo tries to clarify. He lifts one arm to point backwards up behind his head at the glittering mass barely visible in the distance, almost drowned out by the glittering lights of the city below them except for two stars shining brighter than the others against the fuzzy indistinct haze of the rest. From this angle, the city is muted, its lights a mere glow pushing the stars back into the background but not able to extinguish them entirely, particularly not those two.

David’s eyes follow where he’s pointing, and when Matteo glances over at him there’s a crease between his brows as he tries to  _ understand. _ It’s one thing Matteo has grown to love about David. The fact that even when Matteo drifts into some fancy of his own, David will try to follow after him. That when Matteo allows these uncoordinated, sloppy thoughts to escape the cage of his brain that David never shuts him down. 

He’s not used to letting his innermost thoughts free to fly, has so often tried to fit his thoughts and feelings into what he thinks people most want to hear, so the fact that David gives him the space to do it, to let his own thoughts play out in all their imperfect honesty even when he can’t articulate it in a way that’s meaningful, is always a blessing. One that Matteo will always hold dear to his heart.

Even so, Matteo feels the need to articulate these thoughts somewhat better than he has so far. He wants David to know and understand what he’s trying to say. So he tucks his arm down and under his chin and turns to look at David, shifting his body in a way that draws David’s eyes after him. His body then follows in a slow dance that shows just how attuned they are at this time of day when no-one else exists and they’ve been sharing space and breath together for hours on end. 

They lie like that for a moment or two, mirrored partners suspended in the calm of the moment. Then Matteo reaches out and touches David’s face and his eyes flicker shut.

“It’s like the stars, they’re out there shining, right?” he says reverently, watching the expressions flit over David’s face as he whispers. Marvelling, as always, in the way his face can say so much even when he doesn’t speak, even when his eyes are closed like this. “But we can’t really see them or know them.”

David nods, a small tilt of his chin. Just enough to let Matteo know he’s still paying attention even as his breath starts to even out and he knows he’s getting close to sleep.

“It’s like you and me.”

By now, and despite the tiniest of hums that he gives when Matteo stops, Matteo is almost sure David’s fallen asleep but he keeps talking, letting his thoughts wash over his boyfriend, hoping the words give him gentle dreams. Hoping that he feels at least some of what Matteo wants to convey. His fingers trail the softest of lines over David’s face as he whispers.

“I wanted somewhere to fit for the longest time,” he admits to the still of the night, voice barely a breath as he listens to the slow cadence as David's breaths settle further into sleep. “Somewhere I didn’t have to explain who I was or why I was, where I could just be.”

He huffs a small laugh, quietly so as not to disturb David. Watching his own fingers where they press against the lips that have slipped open, showing a hint of David’s teeth under the slow slide of Matteo’s finger as it runs along that beloved face, feeling the relaxed release of that breath as David sleeps. 

“I felt like that, like the stars out there, distant and unknown. Unknowable. Pushing always against what everyone else was doing and feeling.”

He’s philosophising, Matteo knows, but isn’t inclined to stop. Not in this soporific state, not in this time that’s more earliest morning than latest night. Not here with David, warm and pliant under his touch. David shifts under his fingers and he withdraws them, letting them drop to sit on David’s shoulder, the warmth of the skin a pleasant reminder of how vivid and alive and real David is. Even in sleep he has this effect on Matteo, makes him feel like he’s  _ more. _ More real, more genuine, more alive. He lets that thought out in a puff of breath, desperate not to shatter the peace he’s found here looking at David this way.

“Then I met you, and you showed me I can be bright. I can be myself and even if people can’t see and know me, it’s okay. I can know myself. And you.”

Matteo tilts his head up again to look up and out the window, to see the two stars again, shining brighter than the rest, pushing back against the light from the city below that tries to hide so much of the stars’ power. He smiles. Settles down into the bed, under the covers as he pulls them up and over both of them. Like the stars above them, they can shine against any other lights, against anything that tries to drown out who they truly are. He doesn’t need to fit in anywhere else, Matteo thinks. Not when he’s here and he’s able to share these small parts of who he really is with this boy. 

Maybe he couldn’t have said all that while David was awake, Matteo doesn’t know how far philosophy might have taken him. But he does know that it doesn’t matter. It’s a truth, and the one who really needs to hear it is himself. He’s spent so much time trying to be the city lights without really understanding that he can be something else entirely. 

David shifts as the cover is tucked over him, slipping closer, tangling his feet with Matteo’s and pulling him into a tight embrace even in his sleep. Matteo smiles as he settles into those arms which pull him close even while David sleeps on, making the space for him no matter what else is happening. 

Matteo drifts off while thinking about how he doesn’t have to fit in with all the other lights in order to shine. He can be astral. Of or relating to the stars. That’s all he needs for peace: David, and that confession to his own self. 


End file.
